Wednesday, March 24, 2010

When things are good...when things are bad...

So, it is hard to believe it is closing in on the end of another school year. Wow! Time does fly. Last night we watched Simone perform on stage at the 1st grade program at school. She looks soooo old! She recently got her ears pierced and is forever keeping me on track. It was such a nice program and wonderful to see her enjoying her performance - she gets her performance skills from me I'm sure!

However, the night ended on a sad note. All the kids in the program got/wore cool t-shirts and of course Alex wanted one and obsessed about not having one. He even wrote a letter to Santa asking for one next Christmas. Needless to say I didn't handle it well. I am just so tired of Alex always obsessing about what others have, not winning, not being picked, etc. We had a similar problem with his end of the year program for Upward basketball. Now, I talk about this and people with typical kids will say "even typical kids do this". Well, Simone is typical and she doesn't take it to this extreme! It is draining. He did so well with basketball and to have it end with a program where they picked a few kids to win things was frustrating. All kids got something in the end but of course it wasn't what he wanted :( The worst part was last night ended with Simone giving Alex her shirt because she felt bad for him. Will she have to be the understanding sister that gives up a lot for her brother all her life?

Lately I have noticed that I have mentioned Alex and Autism in public more. Sometimes the reactions I get like "even typical kids do that" frustrate me. Sometimes I wonder if I should just not say anything about it/our situation. Do people really care? I know they don't understand because they aren't living it. Am I trying to educate people who really don't want to be educated? However, I think if people know that Alex has Autism and our family is dealing with this and then they meet someone else who has a child with Autism, maybe they can be a little more understanding and even say "hey, I know this family, do you know them?". Hmmm.

I'm still wondering what to do as the mother of Alex during the day when he is at school. Things are good now....however, things can be bad on a certain day or maybe even during a school year. When things are good they are good. But like last night and after the Upward program, things are bad. Will I be too stressed out to be patient (people say I am patient - somehow I don't see that as one of my character traits) if I get a job outside the home. My husband thinks I need a job for about 15-20 hours a week. I guess when the right opportunity comes along, I just need to be open to it and we'll see. I need to try to keep Autism from making me not do something. I need to stop worrying in the future things could be bad or that I'll have to give that job up. I should work while it is good and deal with it when it is bad. It is what it is and will always be with us.

Monday, March 1, 2010

No more excuses....

So, every time I login I realize how long it has been since I have written anything. No more excuses! This winter has been interesting. Although the kids are able to keep themselves occupied well and really have been playing together well, the many, many snow days as well as Dad being out of the country for most of that time has worn mom down!

I keep trying to decide what to do with my life while the kids are at school. Do I really need to do something for pay? Should I just enjoy this time and continue with my volunteer activities? I have recently been appointed to a local board seat and am going on a local radio/TV program as the news girl once a week.

I say "no more excuses"...does that apply to mom? I feel like I often use Alex as an excuse as well as my husband's travel for not working. Would I feel better/have more self esteem if I worked outside of the home? Can I handle full-time? No more excuses. I'll keep my eyes open for opportunities and if the right fit comes my way, I 'll jump on it!

Alex is playing Upward basketball and is doing great. It has been awhile since he has played basketball. He is really picking up on the defense and scored multiple times his last game!! He is soooo competitive though! I have no idea where he gets that from...!!?? He is doing well in school. I see him taking more interest in reading but still doesn't want to have anything to do with it until just before bedtime when we have our reading time. I do notice him taking more chances with his reading instead of asking us for help on words. The first day back to school after many, many snow days though was hard. God Bless his principal when the lunch menu that they had initially put out was changed due to all the snow days and the menu item the day they went back changed. He had the kitchen make Alex a piece of pizza because after all "the menu said pizza"!! He is also getting more social with adults like at swim practices/meets for his sister. He is, however, repeating TV shows/movies that he has memorized. He starts by saying "can I tell you a story?". He is also still really obsessed with what time things are like what time to leave for the bus and when basketball practice is. He gets really upset, repeats over and over that we will be late, especially for basketball.

Simone is finishing her indoor swimming season. At the last meet we had her try a 50 meter where she has to go down the pool, turn around and come back. No flip is required but wouldn't you know that little stinker did a flip turn!!! She rocks! Mom and Dad couldn't be more proud of her! She loves to read and tell stories and write stories. Her sentence structuring is awesome! She is our child that always has ailments...this hurts/itches, has a cut, etc. These often pop up when it is time for bed.

Husband and I did have some date time last night. We saw Wicked, the was beyond amazing! We had such a great time! Mom was still recovering from a cold that lasted almost a whole week so there was no smooching - ha!

Tomorrow I am off for some birthday party supplies for both Alex and turns 9 and the other turns 40! I can't believe Alex is 9. He has comes so far in his 9 years. Wow! Love that kid!