When things are good...when things are bad...

So, it is hard to believe it is closing in on the end of another school year. Wow! Time does fly. Last night we watched Simone perform on stage at the 1st grade program at school. She looks soooo old! She recently got her ears pierced and is forever keeping me on track. It was such a nice program and wonderful to see her enjoying her performance - she gets her performance skills from me I'm sure!

However, the night ended on a sad note. All the kids in the program got/wore cool t-shirts and of course Alex wanted one and obsessed about not having one. He even wrote a letter to Santa asking for one next Christmas. Needless to say I didn't handle it well. I am just so tired of Alex always obsessing about what others have, not winning, not being picked, etc. We had a similar problem with his end of the year program for Upward basketball. Now, I talk about this and people with typical kids will say "even typical kids do this". Well, Simone is typical and she doesn't take it to this extreme! It is draining. He did so well with basketball and to have it end with a program where they picked a few kids to win things was frustrating. All kids got something in the end but of course it wasn't what he wanted :( The worst part was last night ended with Simone giving Alex her shirt because she felt bad for him. Will she have to be the understanding sister that gives up a lot for her brother all her life?

Lately I have noticed that I have mentioned Alex and Autism in public more. Sometimes the reactions I get like "even typical kids do that" frustrate me. Sometimes I wonder if I should just not say anything about it/our situation. Do people really care? I know they don't understand because they aren't living it. Am I trying to educate people who really don't want to be educated? However, I think if people know that Alex has Autism and our family is dealing with this and then they meet someone else who has a child with Autism, maybe they can be a little more understanding and even say "hey, I know this family, do you know them?". Hmmm.

I'm still wondering what to do as the mother of Alex during the day when he is at school. Things are good now....however, things can be bad on a certain day or maybe even during a school year. When things are good they are good. But like last night and after the Upward program, things are bad. Will I be too stressed out to be patient (people say I am patient - somehow I don't see that as one of my character traits) if I get a job outside the home. My husband thinks I need a job for about 15-20 hours a week. I guess when the right opportunity comes along, I just need to be open to it and we'll see. I need to try to keep Autism from making me not do something. I need to stop worrying in the future things could be bad or that I'll have to give that job up. I should work while it is good and deal with it when it is bad. It is what it is and will always be with us.