Acceptance

Acceptance. Wow...that is a big word. At my last therapy appointment she also talked about the grieving steps and how Acceptance is the step that often takes a long time to get there. I feel like at times I am there and at other times, I slip out of it. She feels that I have not fully gotten to through that stage. How does one accept that their child has a disability??

I have found myself lately, since we moved to this new town, introducing ourselves and talking about Alex and his Autism. Maybe it is because most people knew me when got his diangosis in our previous "town". Anyway, I also find myself on edge more as he gets older making sure that he isn't mistreated/misunderstood. I feel like I have to explain him more and that I can never let my guard down so to speak. Most people think that he just has odd behaviors or don't even notice his differences because they don't spend that much time with him but as his mother, I feel that I am always hyperaware of how people see him.

Simone has been asking a lot of questions about Alex and we had a chance to have a talk the other day. Saturday, we went to get a cake for my dad's 60th birthday and on our way back she started asking various things about Alex. We talked about what part of the body helps you make good decisions and behave. She said it was her brain. We then talked about some of the things Alex does that seems strange/weird or like he is misbehaving and how that was his brain not working right. We also talked about whether she needs to watch out for him at school or even ask his teacher how he is doing. She said she asks his teacher how he is doing so that she can tell me. I told her that she didn't need to do that as his teachers will do that and that she shouldn't worry about him at school. At the end of the conversation she said "mom, I'm sure glad we had our talk about Alex". We are hoping to continue these little talks on her terms and spend some quality time with her to make her feel special. I'm headed to school now to have lunch with her on her last day of kindergarten. I'm trying not to think about what we'll say/do when Alex starts asking questions about himself.