Mother's Day

Hmmm...it is another Mother's Day. This day over the past few years has been difficult for me. Usually go to church and hear this message about being mothers, etc. and cry. I cry because I feel like my mothering is challenged more than other mothers. I feel like I don't do a good job with the mothering (see last post). I cry because I feel like the support from the mothers in my life hasn't been there for me while I am being challenged. I feel bad that I want time to myself often on Mother's Day and my wonderful husband has given me that a few times (taken the kids away so I have some quite time). Why would I want to not be a mother on Mother's Day...??? Yet, I saw a mom post on Facebook that she wanted a house where the kids didn't argue so taking them away would be the answer...maybe I'm not the only mother who wishes for that on Mother's Day.

This mothering thing, specifically the mothering of Alex has taken a lot out of me and required a lot of me specifically the last 7 years. Sometimes I am just so tired/worn down. I even feel like screaming "Is it my turn yet? When do I get to do something for me???" I also wish for more than one Mother's Day and yet, wondering if mothering every day is just that...Mother's Day.